Williams
Lapsed volleyball player Nombasa
Claimed no one had dared to harass her
When offered a trip
To Slough or Ruislip
Said “I’d rather go to Mombasa”
Tiggemann
Lapsed volleyball player Marika
No one was so bold as to “weak” her
When offered a treat
Of mussels with frites
Replied “I’d prefer chicken tikka”
Mortimer
Failed volleyball player named Jane
Whose laughter was always inane
When told that she ought
To appear on court
Just giggled again and again
Dollard
Lapsed volleyball player Maureen
Is never on court to be seen.
When told that she ought
To return to the court
She said “I’m not really that keen”
A Black limerick
Lapsed volleyball player Q. Black
For winning did not have the knack
He’d pull down the net
Thus losing the set
And fall to the ground on his back”
A gout limerick
A volleyball player with gout
When asked what the game was about
Said “not about running
But all about cunning
In knowing when best to call ‘out’”
Two Goode limericks
A volleyball player named Kitty
Went out to Magill from the city
But when she was told
The gym had been sold
She replied ‘Oh dear what a pity’
A volleyball player named Goode
To win would do all that he could
But when to his shame
He lost every game
Said ‘we’re not yet out of the wood’
Winwood
Lapsed volleyball player Winwood
To win would do all that he could
But when to his shame
He lost evert game
He said ‘this is really not good’
Hall
Lapsed volleyball player G Hall
When serving loved shouting “Pank’s ball”
When told that he ought
To return to the court
He said “It’s not really my call.”
Delfabbro
A volleyball player named Paul
At spiking was no good at all.
But whenever he served
He could always be heard
Shouting “leave it”,“out”, or “Pank’s ball”
Rump
There once was a player named Rump
Completely unable to jump,
He’d lunge at the net,
Thereby losing the set
And fall to the ground with a thump.
The weak Greek limerick
Lapsed volleyball player Con Stough
Is never to be seen on court now.
He always had fun
Whenever he won
‘Though nobody ever knew how
Barber
Lapsed volleyball player named Jim
Could never have claimed to be slim
When told that he ought
To return to the court
Said “to win I’d risk life and limb”
Weak! It doesn’t scan!
There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When told it was so
He said ‘yes I know
It’s because I always try to cram as many words into the last line as ever I possibly can’.
In petulance,
SC
Where did you get that hat?
I once tried hard to be M.P. but failed to get elected
Upon a tub I stood, round which a thousand folks collected And I had dodged the eggs and bricks (which was no easy task). When one man cried, ” A question I the candidate would ask!”
“Where did you get that hat? Where did you get that tile?
Isn’t it a nobby one, and just the proper style?
I should like to have one Just the same as that!”
Where’er I go, they shout ” Hello! Where did you get that hat?”